Thanksgiving is almost here. And that means the other 2 big holidays in December are around the corner.
For many of us, there’s one more certainty looming as well. Depression has likely begun creeping its way forward like it almost always does for millions of us this time of year. When Daylight Savings Time starts and we find we’re getting less daylight, depression gets a foothold in our daily lives. And as The Holidays get closer, so too do the feelings of anxiousness and stress and the sense that we may not be able to keep up with all we have to do to prepare for everything.
For those of us who are perfectionists (or were raised that way but have tried to reform ourselves), this is one of the toughest times of year. There’s all the cleaning to do, the need to clear out all the accumulated “stuff” and the need to make our homes look like a scene from Architectural Digest for our expected company. And for those of us who aren’t planning to host a holiday gathering, there’s the increasing sense of aloneness, of sadness, even in-creeping despair about it all.
So I ask you: “What are you looking forward to?”
In the face of the negative that for many of us has become an all too familiar tradition, I suggest that there’s an alternative to embrace, one that’s more positive, that’s more enlivening, even more uplifting to have during this time of year. Let me tell you what I mean.
Photo by Michael Porter, flickr
I love “what if” questions. So here’s one.
What if you could go through this year’s holidays and NOT be depressed or have despair or be anxious? Sure, there may be moments where you’re a little anxious about some circumstance that goes cockeyed or something unexpected that may throw you off for a bit. But what if you could simply manage all that and still stay centered and balanced? Imagine how that might feel, how that would effect you?
It’s all too easy to fall into the familiar, to go down that rabbit hole when stuff happens. But you COULD go a different route, one where you feel empowered and where you don’t get thrown so badly by circumstances, or by what someone says or does. It IS possible.
And I use that word – possible – on purpose. I’m someone who always looks for what’s possible, especially when faced with difficult or “impossible” seeming circumstances. I tend to think outside the box, to look at things differently and to search for a different option.
What if you did that?
How do you do that? Well, it starts with a personal commitment, one where you say “I can do this. I am stronger than I think. I will look for new possibilities and I know I can find them.”
Now, in the face of stuff – the crazy rush of holiday prep, cooking, logistics of who and what are going where, etc. – it will definitely be challenging to keep that perspective alive. I’ve been there. But it IS possible to do. Sometimes, for me, it means taking a calming breath and saying (internally) those phrases over and over, sometimes multiple times a day. But doing that makes the difference.
Photo by Marco Verch, flickr
It’s like I’m planting my feet and saying “Possibilities live here and THAT”S what I’m going to have / do today!” Now imagine how THAT would feel?
Some of you will scoff and say “She’s just doing positive thinking.” Well, perhaps, a bit. But it’s more than that. It’s you (and me) taking a stand for something different to be present in our lives, something that can bring us joy and balance and peace – something that can ripple out to all those around us and make the holidays a lot more fun.
So, scoff if you like, but try it on for size over the coming weeks. Do it every day, maybe more than once a day. And remember to do something for yourself every day- even if it’s a small thing – that will bring a smile to your face (or to your heart). As I say in my book You Aren’t Depression’s Victim, small steps lead to big results.
Now imagine if your holiday festivities were truly festive for you, joyful and enlivening for you. And that all it takes is a commitment to make those simple statements and commit to them fully – to the real possibility that they can be true.
