For those of us living with depression, dealing with illness that lingers may as well be a greeting card trumpeting depression’s arrival. I’ve definitely been there – from living through chronic fatigue to a bout of pneumonia that just wouldn’t quit. Depression sneaks up on us when we’re at our most vulnerable. And we fall into it almost without noticing.
But does that really HAVE to happen?
If you’ve read my earlier blog posts and/or my book You Aren’t Depression’s Victim, you’ll remember I’ve been through some challenges where down was the only way I saw to go. It took me years and working with a great therapist to learn to see depression looming and how to step back from it.
Does that mean I never fall into depression or that I don’t come right to the edge of the depression pit?
No and no. Over the years I’ve almost stumbled into that pit a few times. Each time I caught myself and clawed my way up and out again.
Fast forward to today. I’ve been ill for a few weeks. It started early one morning around 1:30 am. I woke with a racing heart and severe dizziness, both of which didn’t quit. After being checked out by a wonderful neighbor who’s a retired ER nurse, I learned it WASN”T a heart attack (what a relief!).
Long story short, after doctors visits, a trip to a local Urgent Care and finally a visit to a neurologist, I still don’t know what the underlying issue is. Sadly, I’ve had to let go of 4 major exciting projects I’d planned to roll out over the coming few weeks as I can’t handle work right now.
Could anyone blame me for standing at the brink of that dark pit’s brink lately? Fortunately, I’ve learned to reach out to friends who recognize the symptoms as well as I do (sometimes sooner) and who offer support so I can back away from depression once more.
I have to admit that recognizing what’s happening takes focus, heart and tapping deep into that place where my commitment to stand tall and not be a victim lives. THAT ‘S a challenge. But I get there. I get to recommit to that promise I made myself long ago -to live free, to live fully, to have a joy-filled balanced life. And even when it gets rocky – like now – I know I can stand on that self-made promise and say “no” to depression.
As the saying goes “When you’re given lemons, make lemonade.” And that’s what I’m going to keep doing.
If you can relate to this, if this sounds familiar to you or someone you know, send me an email and let’s chat about it.
